As the moon turns back on its waning course I am feeling wonderful sense of completion and forward movement following an immense wave of change. 2012 has been a big year to date, as I thought it would be, but the changes have come in many ways that I hadn’t expected which has gifted me with renewed humility and awe for the mystery of life. In the last few weeks we lost our dear dog Taco, who has been a constant companion for the last seven years, to an unexpected illness, at the same time my husband made a major career shift, and we have finalized our decision to move to a new community after many long years of living in Tofino, and as of last night I have finally come to the end of my formal relationship with Anusara Inc. Lying in a sound infused Savasana led by my friend Mike Nichols last night I felt the seeds of intentions that I have been steadily planting these last few years coming into bloom, while others died off and returned to the field of potential from which they arose.
I am not a stranger to cycles of growth and renewal, death and rebirth. Like most people I know who have lived a few decades, or more, my life has always been marked by great change, tidal shifts and new beginnings, and as student of yoga, which is a path of constant refinement, I would be in trouble if I couldn’t swim in these waters with relative comfort. However that doesn’t mean that change is easy or that I don’t at times feel fear, discomfort, sadness, or confusion. I have felt all of these things at different times and in differing levels of intensity over the last few months. But I have also felt excitement, liberation, wonder, and great joy as I move into the unknown and new vistas of possibility open up before me.
There is much to be said for the comfort of the familiar and those of you that know me know that I am a big fan of cultivating healthy routine and rhythm in my daily life. But at the same time I believe we must be watchful for where routine and ritual become rigid and our attachment to what we know keeps us from working at our own evolving edge.
For instance though I got immense value from all of my hours of Anusara Trainings and Intensives the other, more personal work, that I have been doing in the last year was forcing me to clarify and define who I was as a teacher regardless of the style or the school I was aligned with. So in this way the breakdown of Anusara has allowed me to step free of the boundaries of that particular approach to yoga practice while forcing me to become ever more clear about what it is I have gained from my years of study, what I personally think is of value, and what I think is worth passing on to my students. This is of course an important process of self reflection and discrimination that should always be going on but when we are held within the form of a particular approach or system we can get lazy about doing it for ourselves and go with the consensus of the group. (*please note that these are my own reflections as they pertain to my process and not a broad judgment of yoga teachers who teach style specific yoga)
In the same way when we get too comfortable in our daily routine we may become fearful of heeding the subtle voices that are urging us into a new stage of development that has outgrown the rituals of yesterday. As always it takes great skillfulness to know when to make a move, and when to stay put and listen to what it arising. Thank goodness we have yoga!
So as for what’s to come, I will be moving to the Whistler area in late summer so my son can attend a new school and I can connect with a new yoga community. My husband will be making a switch from a career in tourism and management to something more tangible and hands on. My family and I are looking forward to making new friendships and exploring a new landscape while still being surrounded by the immense natural beauty we have become accustomed too and determined as an essential need we won’t give up. I will continue to teach in the same way I have been for the last few years meaning you can expect to receive a mindful flow based experience in my classes infused with the philosophy that I love, inspired by the many teachers in my life who guide me in the wisdom of relationship, radiant health, and personal evolution. Hopefully you will also find that I will no longer feel obliged to hammer you over the head with a theme that I’m not connecting to on that day or struggling with “getting it right” rather than simply teaching to what I see and feel is needed. Hopefully you will find me increasingly connected to my own creativity and authentic voice and at the same time offering you the same quality and high level of teaching you have come to rely on me for. I wouldn’t ask you to settle for anything less! As well I will be restructuring my teacher training programs and creating new programs for yoga teachers that want to develop their expertise with 500 Hour Trainings and Teachers Development Programs. I will be continuing to offer workshops and retreats as well as hopefully teaching community based classes in my new community of Whistler but will also be offering more programs and study courses online. I would love to hear your feedback and requests as to what you would like to receive from me and how I can best serve each of you in the years to come so feel free to connect via email, Facebook, or in person.
It feels good to be clear about my direction, even if I don’t know exactly what is to come and I want to thank each of you for reading this far down the page!, and for all your support over the years. It is because of my relationship with you, my dear community of students, teachers, and friends, that I am given the courage to keep growing and moving forward on my own path. Though structures and forms will fade the essence of this great work remains the same- to live a life of love and celebration, deep gratitude, and grace.